Every single feeling we ever have, comes from a thought that we have knowingly or unknowingly believed. Not just knowing this in theory but really, truly knowing it at a deep level, improves every part of our lives beyond our wildest dreams; I know this because it happened to me.
Your feeling could be one of love, anxiety, happiness, sadness, excitement, insecurity, joy or literally anything else….and it always originated from a thought. Your thought could have been anything but, for example “I love bright pink clothes”, I’m not a good mother” or “I dread going to work”. You may not even remember having the thought, but a thought there certainly was.
I remember thinking I had to work out what the thought had been in order to move on…but this isn’t necessary at all. All that is necessary to let the feeling go, is to choose not to believe, or act upon, any of our thoughts we don’t want to.
The thoughts we have are not fact, however much they seem to be, they are merely our subjective opinion; the way we make sense of our worlds made from our own unique perspective, based on our particular set of experiences.
Once we see that our thoughts have been either made up or appropriated by us, we realise that we are able to override, change or ignore them. When I discovered I was in control of my thoughts rather than, as I had always believed, controlled by them, my life changed irrevocably.
When we understand that we are able to see thoughts for what they are and not hard and fast rules, they are no longer our jailers; we are free.
This is not about controlling our thoughts
Controlling our thoughts is exhausting! Pushing away ‘bad’ thoughts, or replacing them with ‘good’ thoughts does work BUT as soon as you get distracted for a moment or you meet a particularly stressful situation, this coping strategy falls apart. I found, that understanding that thoughts and the feelings they produce, are actually neither bad nor good, changed my view of them completely. I used to be very frightened of my thoughts but now I look at them with interest and dispassion, a little like I would a film; if I want to get involved with it, I do, and if I don’t, I don’t. How ridiculously simple and amazingly fabulous is that?!?
Rather than ‘methods’, ‘strategies’ and ‘plans’, I choose to simply not let my thoughts control me. I have grown to know 100% that they cannot ever do this unless I choose to let them. I choose not to let them. You might like to read Nothing and no one can ever hurt us.
This feeling is important!!!
Sometimes our thoughts produce physical feelings. We can get racing hearts, feel hot, sick, dizzy and unable to concentrate or remember anything. I can absolutely understand that you think this is your body’s way of telling you that these thoughts are particularly important, but it isn’t. It is merely your body’s physical reaction to the chemicals your stressful thoughts have produced and NOT the other way round. When we realise this, those physical feelings drain away fairly quickly…and until they do, we can ignore them and get on with our business of living and loving our lives.
Not all days are going to be perfect, of course, are not going to go exactly as we’d want, but we can always refuse to get further caught up in our ‘negative’ thoughts. This was an absolute game-changer for me…I can’t tell you the incredible difference it made to my life. To see how much of a contrast I experienced, read New day, new life; isn’t it time you had a good day, every day?
When we are feeling anxious, depressed, insecure, jealous, angry or any other unwanted emotion, it doesn’t seem possible that there is another way to be, another way to feel. I get that; I felt exactly and as frustratingly strongly as you may about this… but I promise you, there is.
Know that there is a gentler, more peaceful way to be
For me, just knowing there was a different way, even though it wasn’t available to me right then, even though I didn’t have a clue how to access it, helped me tremendously. It was a big step in my transformation.
I learned that I had the choice whether to attach to my uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, to give them energy to grow and fester, or to gently let them go.
Letting go is the simplest thing in the world—honestly
I so didn’t believe this at one time! Yet look how much I believe it now. If I could do this, I know you can too.
Less is more; I’m not going to give you more to do. Letting go isn’t something extra to do…letting go is less to do. Let me explain with an analogy. Pushing a beach ball down under the water of a pool is hard work…letting it float up to its natural position on the surface is really easy. It’s not actually a matter of ‘letting go’, it’s a matter of quitting holding on.
Next time I'll be writing about how we can all be happy...always. Until then, I hope you're able to see the simple love and joy around you and I am always here if you have any questions or comments. Please contact me for a chat about how I can coach YOU happy.
Love Catherine x