Is it just me, or are you too aware of a shift? There are a growing number, it feels to me, of people who are choosing to be kind…to themselves and others. A growing number of good-hearted people, still people. A growing number of people who understand the tremendous benefits of leading a gentle and kind life.
I see these people every day, everywhere.
And yet, some people are reporting to me a very different picture of humanity. They’re telling me about people getting meaner, crueller, lying more, loving less, using rather than giving, being ungrateful, selfish and demanding.
I’m very interested in knowing why this is. Am I seeing the world through the rose tinted spectacles I’ve been metaphorically wearing ever since I learned I don’t need to believe in any of my thoughts I don’t want to? And if that is the case…surely those spectacles are the ones to wear! Isn’t it more pleasant to have a good experience of life?? I wonder what you’re seeing when you look around and how you feel about it. I wonder if you know that there is a choice…because I certainly didn’t. That choice has changed my life completely. Some of you will know what a mess I was not so very long ago, and how much my life has transformed. You can read more about that in my first ever blog post, New day, new life; isn’t it time you had a good day, every day?
I can’t believe that anyone is inherently bad or gets up in the morning and decides to do ‘bad’ things. I feel sure that they are simply doing their best with what they have available to them that in moment. Like we all are. What I mean is, I don’t think people are ‘bad’, just that they sometimes make decisions from ‘bad’ places.
We all get ungrounded from time to time and our decisions, in that state, are not to be trusted. We’ve all made those knee-jerk reactions and later wished we’d taken time to consider. Have you noticed though that when we make one of those decisions, we can always justify it? We tell ourselves that our adversaries are ‘idiots’ or ‘uninformed’ or simply ‘wrong’. The stories we tell ourselves in order to be okay with what we’ve said or done feel absolutely true; we need to convince ourselves that what we’re doing or saying is right because humans just don’t like to be unhappy or unkind; it simply isn’t in our nature.
Kindness = happiness
We cannot be genuinely kind and unhappy at the same time; it isn’t possible. Try it. I don’t mean grudgingly kind…I mean the gentle pure kindness that comes from a loving place. The compassion that makes us feel warm inside, the compassion that feels just as wonderful to us as it does to our recipient. Kindness is the key to all you wish for.
Hurt people hurt people; healed people heal people
People who are contented and peaceful don’t hurt people, there is no need for them to do so and they wouldn’t want to, only hurt people hurt people….and not because they want to but because that’s the only option that seems to be there for them. When we feel frightened we lash out, when we are no longer insecure, defensive, lonely, sad or angry we don’t have the need to make others feel small in order to make us feel better…we already are better; all we want is to make others feel as good as we do.
I certainly want you to feel as good as I do. If I could somehow pass my ‘pink glasses’ around, then everyone would see the love in people that I do, and only the love.
You don’t have to sit there and take it
I’m not saying that people don’t make unhealthy choices, because they clearly do, and nor am I saying that you should stick around and be treated badly. Rather that the words and actions of others cannot affect our inner peace unless we let them. If we are connected to our place of clarity and wisdom, we can trust our thoughts and if walking away from a person or situation seems the best thing to do, then do it. Not because you have to remain peaceful but because you want to.
In the days before I knew I didn’t need to allow anyone or anything to hurt me, I was exhausted the whole time…continually trying to feel okay but never having the control to make that happen. I would love to empower you so that you have absolute choice whether you feel upset, enraged, envious or any other feeling you don’t like. I would love to teach you not to attach to those harmful thoughts and to merely let them go.
Be as good as you, not as ‘bad’ as them
When we see sadness or pain around us, let us choose not to become hard or corrupted, let us choose to gently pull it into our calm rather than be dragged into its storm. Let us choose kindness, let us choose love.
What would happen if you decided to be kind today? All day? Kind and loving toward yourself and others? Kindness is not weakness, as I once thought it was, in fact I think it shows incredible strength; it’s easy to react with anger or hurt when challenged, it takes a little work on ourselves to step back and take a few seconds between stimuli and reaction to choose the best course of action.
As a wonderful bonus, by being kind we are giving permission to those around us to be kind too.
You have nothing to lose and oh so much to gain. Please reach out if you’d like me to help you let go of any discomfort and embrace a kinder way to be.
Next time I'll be writing about empowering you to choose to be okay. Until then, I hope you see the love around you and am always here if you have any questions or comments. Please contact me for a chat about how I can coach you happy.
Love Catherine x