Does it ever feel like you’ve got waaay too many tabs open in your brain?? That we hardly ever relax?
We expect more and more of ourselves every day, and because no one dare admit they’re struggling, we don’t feel we can either….so we take on new projects until our poor body and mind call time…until we burn out…until we become so overwhelmed that we literally can’t think straight any more. You’ve probably found yourself somewhere on that continuum at least once. Maybe you are more or less continually on that continuum.
The thing is, it may seem like we can think of lots of different things at one time but actually we are thinking of each thing one after another, round and round, round and round, round and round. It’s exhausting! Add to this the way most of us are also forcing our bodies to exist on less nourishing food, sleep for fewer hours and perform at a higher level and more often…. No wonder we can’t relax!!
It took me a long time to understand that my body, mind and soul are all ME. I had been treating my body like a slave, expecting the best and punishing the worst. I pretty much denied the very existence of my soul! You might like to read my blog post, It’s time to treat ourselves with the love we deserve.
When we push ourselves too hard and allow such an imbalance, something has to give, right? In the UK, stress related illness now accounts for over half of all work absences. I find this dreadful but unfortunately not surprising. What are we doing to ourselves??
So how do we stop this craziness? How do we turn our lives around?
I’m glad you asked
It’s much easier than you might think and I am living proof of that. I used to stress about everything….used to get completely wrapped up in the stories I told myself about my worries, and now I don’t. Simples.
I’m now totally passionate about helping you do the same.
I am much more interested in helping people ‘be’ rather than ‘do’. ‘Doing’ is very stressful, don’t you find? However, when we’re new to this, I find it helps to remind ourselves how to relax. These are a few things that help us.
Live in the moment….bring yourself back to right NOW
When we live in the past or future, we worry. We spend a ridiculous amount of time fretting about things that don’t usually end up happening, don’t we? I write more about this in Overthinking. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!
Learning from the past is important and so is planning for the future, but worrying is only ever bad for our health.
In the present we are always okay. Focusing on our breath is a really great way to be grounded and present. Each time you notice your thoughts straying away from this moment and into worry, gently bring yourself back to your breath and to right now. You could read Living in the now; love this moment for more on this.
Rather than thinking about what you haven’t got, and putting yourself in a place of lack, try and concentrate on all the things you do have. This is what my grandma called ‘counting your blessings’; my grandmother was a very wise woman. It’s very easy to get sucked into our worried thoughts about how we ‘should’ have more. Yet don’t we actually have so much more than many people??
I foud it helped me to give whenever I could. It was hard, at first, to give, when I felt I didn’t have enough myself, but it soon shifted my perspective to one of gratitude. There are so many good causes or maybe you could give money (even if just a few pence), clothes or food to your local homeless people.
Don’t believe what you think
The best thing I ever learned was that we don’t need to believe in, let alone act upon, any of our thoughts we don’t want to. You might like Stop holding yourself back and get on with your life and I’m just not in the mood.
Choose love over fear
It doesn’t often feel like a choice but it always…always is and it’s soooo much easier when we understand we don’t need to believe all our thoughts. You may like to read Choosing fear over love.
Remember that no one can hurt us…unless we let them
Never ever give the key to your okayness to anyone or anything. See Nothing and no one can ever hurt us.
Accept what you can’t change
When we argue with ‘what is’, what we have no control over, we always lose. Acceptance is an enormous factor in letting go and relaxation.
Next time I'll be writing about how understanding how our thoughts work is where the magic is. Until then, I hope you see the love around you and am always here if you have any questions or comments. Please contact me for a chat about how I can coach you happy.
Love Catherine x